Q. What’s the point of banning bikes? Aren’t all bikes part of the planet’s best bet for human survival?
A. Great question. Yes, all bikes are a step away from the cesspool and toward the climate stabilization. However, I feel that there are more reliable bikes already out there, in garages, in barns, chained to lightposts, that with a few hours of basic maintenance and overhaul and a few hundred dollars saved, can be safer, more comfortable and more efficient transportation devices than any Magna or Huffy that Target ever sold. Recycling bikes is the planet’s best bet for human survival. Next question?
Q. Well…what should we do with all the existing bikes slated to be banned?
A. Well that’s a dumb question. We’ll bury them in the tombs of the CEOs of the companies that produced them. That way, when the aliens land a million years from now, they will be able to see how stupid we were for making them in the first place.
Q. What about old bikes that fall under the blanket ban? Isn’t it better to use an old Free Spirit / Huffy than to go out and buy a new one?
A. Wow.Tough question. The answer is somewhat complex, so you might not get it.
Q. What is this blog trying to accomplish, and how can any good come from banning bikes?