The Freeway Ride II – CRIMANIMALZ


(Nice job on the cut RichToTheIE. Nice job on the music FUNDERSTORM)

I think Larry is annoyed that this site has become a bounce site for CRIMANIMALZ, but whatever…he has better things to do (maybe graduating from CAL?) and has a wife that hates bikes, hates his bike hobby, and hates me. So I can understand if some of all that hate that he lives is permeating into his his non-existent soul—I say non-existent because I don’t believe in souls, but I use the soul image for those that do, to make it easier for them to understand the level to which hatred can penetrate.

Today is the 7th day since Crimanimalz weaved through frozen Friday freeway traffic on I-10 and the 405 FWY. A group of almost 30 Crimanimalz (including 3 rollerbladers and a triple decker tall bike) proved for the second time in two months that at certain times of the day, the fastest way to get from one part of town to the other is by human power.

Apart from the swelling numbers of this ride series is the amount of cameras riders are equipped with. Thanks to five or so bike camerapeeps, Richie was able to craft one of the best DIY ride stunt video that I have seen to date. The accompanying FUNDERSTORM track “Why Didja Duh Eeet” really captures the emotion felt by most riders both before, during and after the ride.

There is a snow ball rolling and I can’t tell if I am in its path, or inside the build up of snow.

Small local press, blogs big and little, radio and TV:

The Santa Monica Daily Press got the Scoop first. Congratulations to them. Here is the PDF linkage.

KFI News interviewed Alex Thompson and myself on Tuesday for small little news blunder that was sandwiched—most likely—between more sensational Dr. Phil type stories. Their questions were pretty mundane, which was unexpected from the local affiliate that syndicates Rush Limbaugh.

laist.com blogged an image post which has of right now received over 1500 DIGG points along with over 500 comments on DIGG. Here is where the internet community has stepped up to actually discuss the issue at hand: “What is wrong with car culture in the world, specifically in Los Angeles?” Sifting through the comments it is easy to get a sense of the binary rigidity of the discourse; the conversation continues to teeter back and forth between the naysayers and the yaysayers.

The naysayers continue to argue that this sort of direct action does little to change the transportation infrastructure of large cities, that it provokes law enforcement to tighten down on bicycle related citations and prevents city officials from listening to the community of bicycle riders in Los Angeles.

Hogwash.

What cannot be argued is that this event failed to fill the abyss, the void of conversation that existed only a month ago. This is not to say that the biking community was not discussing the issue, they’ve been at it since the car was invented. It is the public discourse, the one outside the small community of car-free citizens of the world, that has been illuminated from a fresh angle, an angle of merriment, electric Kool-Aid, Hog Farm tom foolery and culture jam and toast. If 500 comments can turn into 1000, and 1000 into 2000, a lot of cyclists that I know would be willing to sign the $250.00 traffic infraction and ride to the next on ramp.

Wired blogged about the event in their Autopia blog. Check it HEREZ. Wired loves us. They lovezies us.

NPR is still working on their story with which I will update this post when they send me the Link. Hopefully this will generate more of a discussion amongst the all the sayers out there.

Stepping away from all the naysaying and the yaysaing, here’s a little soothsaying. Crimanimalz will be feeding the homeless. Crimanimalz will be teaching your children to read. Crimanimalz will be hosting community breakfasts with pancakes covered in organic maple syrup for all. Crimanimalz will be building houses in cyclone ravaged regions around the world. Crimanimalz has big plans that transcend the seemingly prankster oriented spirit of the Friday freeway rides.

Much More Than a Thousand Words

I think that I “speak” for both Perry and myself when I say that this little contraption is doing much more that it is…er…uh…mmm…doing? And that we both whole heartedly agree that there is some deep connection here that I am not quite capable of uh…y’know…putting here.

Pictured Items Not Included

I really thought the first banned bike would be a Magna or a Huffy, and then maybe a Free Spirit. OK, for the maiden voyage of this shitty little blog, the first bicycle ban is going to be a ban on the sales protocol/ethics of some guy in Waterside, CA.

Pictured here is a nice looking 1977 Schwinn Super Le tour. This picture looks like a complete bicycle, or at least a ridable bicycle. Maybe it’s set up as a single speed or maybe it’s a fixed gear–it obviously does not have a rear gear cluster or rear dérailleur. Whatever. It does have, apart from the chrome lugs and steel frame, a saddle, seat post, handlebars, brakes, brake levers, bottom bracket, headset, fork, wheels and a crank. Fantastic, 100 bucks…SOLD! Wrong.

1977 chromed and lugged pimp-mo-bile. REALLY nice. Some peeling of clearcoat and mild rust, but no structural impact. Includes frame, fork, stem, crank and bottom bracket.

If you are keeping more than 50% of the itemized components pictured in your Craigslist ad, why not take the bike apart and snap a few shitty pics then? You’re going to have to strip the bike eventually if you plan on selling only those items listed above.

I want to ban this bike because you are a lazy salesperson, but that stone wall is cool. Where is that stone wall? I want to roll up to Waterside and post up on that wall with my 2 wheeled pimp-mo-bile and snap a few pictures for my Flickr feed.

The Footnote:

Figures, someone from Orange County would get it right. And his/her email even references a John Lennon song, “Working Class Hero.” God Bless the proletariat. Another cool thing about this ad is that the frame in the picture is resting against a framed New Order poster. I don’t even like New Order that much, but it definitely boasts a certain edge, like “hey, I’m not at all afraid to admit that I am cool.” This guy has it all figured out.

The seller either took the time to strip the frame of everything NOT being sold before taking this shitty picture from his LG, or he was the chump who showed up with 100 bucks thinking that he was going to ride home on a complete Bianchi only to be duped by some douche bag selling less than HALF of what appeared on Craigslist in the first place, and not wanting to show admit the misunderstanding, gave him the Benjamin and took the frame home and promptly put it up on Craigslist because he has absolutely no interest in building up bikes.

Something tells me that Working Class Heroes love building bikes–bikes not meant to be banned.

Another Message

I watch The Hills. I bike ride. I will eat your face. I am NOT Perry, nor do I want either of his/her bikes when she/he dies.

A message from the blogger

Ok. The toxic sludge flowing forth is intended as little less than simple meditation and personal amusement. But since we have blogs, you have blogs, I have blogs, they have blogs, well, then we get blogs, all types of blogs, easily hated and most likely surfed away from.

Sorry in advance.