Much More Than a Thousand Words

I think that I “speak” for both Perry and myself when I say¬†that this little contraption is doing much more that it is…er…uh…mmm…doing? And that we both whole heartedly agree that there is some deep connection here that I am not quite capable of uh…y’know…putting here.

Freeway Aftermath (the FUNDERSTORM version)

So, here’s the basic rundown of the Freeway Ride after party:

The ride video was posted on YouTube on Saturday, April 19th, in the middle of the day. It has been viewed over 13,000 times. That’s pretty cool.

Funderstorm remixed the video with an original song written for the ride. Some are requesting that it become the official FREEWRYDERS anthem. We’ll see.

A wiki entry has been made on the IBIKEU WIKI and a number of its editors have already contributed excellent updates and corrections. Thank you Alex Thompson and Paul Bringetto for getting the site up and running in time for spring and summer riding.

The wiki already seems to have created a small rift in the space-bike-continuum, producing a negative reaction among other local Bike Culture web admins. If Ibikeu turns out to be the paint stripper that separates the activist riders who like to have fun from the “we’re not political” fun only groups then I totally welcome it.

Many were worried that the ride would destroy the bicycle scene in Los Angeles. Perhaps their fears were merited. What everyone failed to consider was that a NEW dialog might open up, which is, in the small bicycle subculture blogosphere, kind of what has happened. LA Metblogs‘ Sean Bonner (rode with Wolfpack) posted the video and the discussion picked up where the Midnight Ridazz left off (chaos).

The best part about the large amount of feedback is that it has raised more questions about why LA does not have efficient and safe bike ways.

This ride stunt was not adorned with banners and slogans. It was a ride stunt geared around fun conflicting with taboo. It was a Hegelian Dialectic for bike riders. The synthesis was food for thought. And at least people are eating.

If you rode a bike you\'d be home by now.

Graphic compliments of BoogalooShrimp AKA Flunky Carter.

I Bike Where Bikes are BANNNNNNNED

It was definitely a product of much heated ethical and legal debate, but we ended up doing it. My friend “Taco Bell Big Box Lunch” and I organized a Santa Monica Freeway ride from Cloverfield to Centinela (on-ramp to off-ramp). 9 other riders showed up and we sped through automotive paralysis like water molecules through kidneys. Post-ride epiphany = no less safe than riding on the PCH (which spandex roadies do daily) or any other surface street congested with gridlock.

Some amusing comments from the YouTuberz:

When asked about the trouble one could find themselves in, a user named voodmann responds:

NONE, when the cops finally pulled us over we just told them that “it seemed like a good idea at the time.” then we told them that “life is full of wrong turns officer, and we just took one…two.” Then he let us leave and he took his police felt mountain bike out of the trunk of his car and rode off into the sun as it set across the western shoulder of the 405 freeway. no ticket.

Responding to a comment proposing an exodus from Los Angeles, because the sprawl makes it impossible for people to commute via bicycles, the same user asks:


are you suggesting that the citizens of this glorious city displace themselves and move to NY? there’s a large underclass here that can’t really afford that. Vote for higher taxes for social services and maybe your dream can become a reality.

PS – I know…most of the people in cars don’t belong to the underclass…it’s still a paradigm. In your mouth.

The Huffy rhymes with Duffy, probably because it sucks.

No offense to Patrick Duffy, but the Huffy kind of reminds me of him. It’s the bike that really seems to be over the whole scene, like it wants out of its contract and is willing to get shot at the end of season 7. Alas, the writers over at Huffy Bikes keep on premiering new season’s with “it was all a dream and the Huffy is in the shower…naked.”

Search for Huffy Bikes on Google. The official Huffy website is the first result on top of the list, the search description: Makers of mass-market Road, Mountain, and BMX Bicycles. Huh…OK. It’s pretty obvious that Huffy in no way wants you to get the wrong idea and think of them as makers of SAFE or RELIABLE bicycles.

Here is the sad history of a once inspired and hopeful company.

Significant tragedies

In 1995 Huffy began to license Disney characters to spruce up and animate their kids bikes. That’s kind of a bummer move. It worked for Big Wheels in the early ’80s when they made a KIT or a Hulk Big Wheels, but come on, this company had some Olympic integrity a decade prior. Two years later it introduced it’s first BMX, another Johnny-Come-Lately maneuver. Huffy is like Stanley Kubrick releasing Full Metal Jacket ten years after it should have been released–CIRCA Apocalypse Now when the Academy and contemporary critics would have gave a shit. Well Huffy, how did it feel showing up to the party singing “Send Me an Angel” only to find out that Lori Loughlin and Bill Allan had bike-danced there way out of the ’80s and into shitty television?

(Bill Allan and Mathew Modine both appear in Robert Altman’s 1983 film Streamers; coincidentally, Mathew Modine went on to star as Pvt. Joker in Full Metal Jacket in 1987, one year after Bill Allan popularized and revolutionized BMX riding in Rad(1986).)

Huffy…do you believe in heaven above? Do you believe in love?

Please Forgive My Comrade Perry

Perry’s very first post is in actuality my fault. I am on the lookout for a decent frame and the necessary parts to build it up. This will be my first build, and Perry is admittedly excited that I am leaving the safety of bikes built for me by anonymous folks from abroad, and entering the broad all too hip frontier of putting my shit together. I was showing him these possibilities from the craigslist and voila…his sensitive punk-ass goes on a somnolescence inducing tirade. So please forgive him, he was talking shit on my behalf.

I would like to introduce the very first banned bike. A bike of my own. It was given to me and I nearly died on it every time I rode it. I took it apart, I put some new tires on there, tweaked some shit (read screwed and unscrewed various things to no effect) and decided I had better get rid of her. I admit I enjoyed the tinkering, but after a little while I began to see that there were some things I could never do to it and any money I put into it would be better spent on a safe, reliable and fun to ride bike. I eventually sold this bad-girl on craigslist to a very cool gentleman to whom I explained each fault I saw with the bike. In retrospect I should given it to him. I am somewhat sorry to have to do this but Free Spirit, you are officially banned.


Pictured Items Not Included

I really thought the first banned bike would be a Magna or a Huffy, and then maybe a Free Spirit. OK, for the maiden voyage of this shitty little blog, the first bicycle ban is going to be a ban on the sales protocol/ethics of some guy in Waterside, CA.

Pictured here is a nice looking 1977 Schwinn Super Le tour. This picture looks like a complete bicycle, or at least a ridable bicycle. Maybe it’s set up as a single speed or maybe it’s a fixed gear–it obviously does not have a rear gear cluster or rear d√©railleur. Whatever. It does have, apart from the chrome lugs and steel frame, a saddle, seat post, handlebars, brakes, brake levers, bottom bracket, headset, fork, wheels and a crank. Fantastic, 100 bucks…SOLD! Wrong.

1977 chromed and lugged pimp-mo-bile. REALLY nice. Some peeling of clearcoat and mild rust, but no structural impact. Includes frame, fork, stem, crank and bottom bracket.

If you are keeping more than 50% of the itemized components pictured in your Craigslist ad, why not take the bike apart and snap a few shitty pics then? You’re going to have to strip the bike eventually if you plan on selling only those items listed above.

I want to ban this bike because you are a lazy salesperson, but that stone wall is cool. Where is that stone wall? I want to roll up to Waterside and post up on that wall with my 2 wheeled pimp-mo-bile and snap a few pictures for my Flickr feed.

The Footnote:

Figures, someone from Orange County would get it right. And his/her email even references a John Lennon song, “Working Class Hero.” God Bless the proletariat. Another cool thing about this ad is that the frame in the picture is resting against a framed New Order poster. I don’t even like New Order that much, but it definitely boasts a certain edge, like “hey, I’m not at all afraid to admit that I am cool.” This guy has it all figured out.

The seller either took the time to strip the frame of everything NOT being sold before taking this shitty picture from his LG, or he was the chump who showed up with 100 bucks thinking that he was going to ride home on a complete Bianchi only to be duped by some douche bag selling less than HALF of what appeared on Craigslist in the first place, and not wanting to show admit the misunderstanding, gave him the Benjamin and took the frame home and promptly put it up on Craigslist because he has absolutely no interest in building up bikes.

Something tells me that Working Class Heroes love building bikes–bikes not meant to be banned.

Another Message

I watch The Hills. I bike ride. I will eat your face. I am NOT Perry, nor do I want either of his/her bikes when she/he dies.